American Pharoah Accused Of Racing On Underinflated Hooves


NEW YORK – (CT&P) – Less than 24 hours after American Pharoah won the Belmont Stakes, accusations have arisen from competing stables that he ran the race on underinflated hooves.

The victory at Belmont made the thoroughbred the first odd-toed ungulate to win the Triple Crown, the greatest achievement in horse racing, since 1978.

Pharoah ended the longest Crown drought by sweeping the sport’s top three races, becoming only the 12th horse ever to do so.

American Pharoah, ridden by jockey Victor Espinoza, beat a tough field of seven other thoroughbreds by 5 1/2 lengths.


An outraged Mubtaahij spoke with reporters after the race but no one could tell what the fuck he was saying because he insisted on speaking in Arabic. He did however end his diatribe by screaming “Death to America” in broken English.

Espinoza guided the three-year-old colt to the rail at the start, taking the lead in the first quarter. Trailing American Pharoah for most of the race was Materiality, before Mubtaahij and Frosted made plays for second. But no one could overtake the lightning fast Pharoah.

Espinoza, the intrepid jockey who piloted Pharoah to victory, secured his spot in history by yelling “Holy Shit!” shortly after he crossed the finish line.

But today ugly rumors have surfaced concerning the thoroughbred’s propensity to underinflate his hooves prior to race time.

Competitors Frosted, Keen Ice, and Mubtaahij told reporters from Ungulate Weekly that Pharoah has been cheating all season long, and complaints to racing officials have fallen on deaf ears.

“That bastard runs every damn race with underinflated hooves, and we believe it gives him an unfair advantage,” said Frosted.

“That’s right,” said Keen Ice. “That pompous ass pretty boy has a special trainer he calls his ‘Deflater’ who tampers with his hooves prior to every race. It’s cheating and it’s damn disgraceful!”

Mubtaahij then went on a 15 minute diatribe about the situation but most of it was unintelligible because he was speaking in Arabic.

Racing officials have promised to look into the allegations raised by Pharoah’s competitors but no one believes that anything serious will happen.

“We’re probably talking about some fines and maybe some minor reprimands here,” said Racing Commissioner Roger Equus. “I don’t think Pharoah’s Triple Crown victory will be overturned.”