WASHINGTON – (CT&P) – According to the latest Washington Post-ABC News Tracking Poll, village idiots across the United States are breaking for Donald Trump. Clinton and Trump are all but tied according to the poll, and pundits believe that this trend among undecided village idiots, morons, and imbeciles could very well determine the outcome of the election.
The tracking poll finds little shift in Clinton’s overall support following news of the FBI’s renewed look at Clinton emails, but strong enthusiasm among her supporters fell behind Trump in combined Saturday and Sunday interviews.
By 53 to 43 percent, more Trump supporters, who tend to be poorly educated simpletons, say they are “very enthusiastic” about him, compared with Thursday and Friday when Trump’s edge was negligible (53 percent vs. 51 percent).
“Clinton backers are slipping behind in enthusiasm even though Democrats have an edge in early voting,” said Merideth Bullsmegma, who manages the poll for ABC News.
“This presents a clear opportunity for Trump, if somehow his supporters are able to find their respective polling places.”
Bullsmegma cited reports that many potential Trump voters are wandering aimlessly around cities and towns complaining that they can’t find where to vote because they have ‘pieces of brain lodged in their heads’.
“If the RNC can somehow get these schmucks to the polls, and convince them that the voting machines won’t hurt them, then Trump could pull off the upset,” said a nervous Bullsmegma.
“If that happens, then God help us all.”