THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – A shocking new Fox News poll has revealed that approximately 80% of imbeciles living in the continental United States think that President Obama has destroyed America. The poll was taken on December 30th. Participants were randomly chosen from imbeciles currently listed on the National Idiot’s Register in Washington, D.C.
The imbeciles were randomly chosen from the National Idiot’s Register in Washington, D.C.
The poll consisted of two simple statements that imbeciles were required to complete. The statements were followed by a comment section where each imbecile was given the opportunity to voice his or her views on the subject.
Participants were first given the opportunity to complete the following sentence:
President Obama has
A. not destroyed the country.
B. somewhat destroyed the country.
C. really, really destroyed the country.
D. completely and utterly destroyed the country.
Those imbeciles that answered “B,” “C,” or “D” were then asked to complete this sentence:
President Obama has destroyed the country because
A. he is black.
B. of Obamacare.
C. of Benghazi
D. he is a member of the worldwide communist conspiracy to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids.
E. All of the above
Fox researchers found that over 80% of imbeciles polled thought that Mr. Obama had in some way ‘destroyed the country,’ with over 90% of those imbeciles answering “E” to the second question.
Paradoxically, the researchers also discovered that although imbeciles thought that the country had been destroyed, they continued to insist that it was the greatest country on earth and was humanity’s last, best hope for the future.
Members of the International Moron’s Association complained that they were left out of the poll, but researchers at Fox said that their inability to operate telephones or computers precluded their participation.
Perhaps the most revealing part of the poll was the comments section, which illustrated just ignorant imbeciles in this country are.
Billy Bob McSneed, an imbecile from Running Sore, Arkansas said: “That negra wants to give poor people medical care and let a bunch of infected foreign kids into the United States. He’s a disgrace, and it’s only a matter of time before he lets the United Nations come and get all our guns!”
Jean “Genius” Mims, an imbecile from Melanoma Beach, Florida said: “I may not be able to read, but I darn shore know destruction when I seen it, and let me tell you, this country had been destructed!”
Billy Frank McDim of Rabid Beaver, Minnesota said: “That man is downright insane. He’s bent on destroying all of us with his gay marriage and enlightened foreign policy. The next thing you know it’ll be legal to marry your goat! Everybody knows that big business and Jesus are our only hope. I just thank God every day for smart people like Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin!”
One of the few imbeciles that thought that President Obama had not destroyed the country was Tampaxia Reynolds from Mobile, Alabama who said: “I really have not noticed that the United States has been destroyed, but maybe that’s because I don’t watch Fox News. I really don’t know.”
As with all Fox News polls, the survey has a margin of error of +/- 35%.