LAS VEGAS – (CT&P) – The reports to the police have one thing in common with the circus act involving an improbable number of clowns emerging from a small car.
They just keep coming, and coming, and coming, across multiple states. Clowns in vans. Clowns in the woods. Clowns lurking in the shadows. Clowns chasing people or doing crimes.
But no one expected the rash of creepy clown sightings would affect the presidential election.
After Hillary Clinton took the stage last night in Las Vegas at the third and final debate, a giant clown dressed in an imported suit, ridiculously long tie, and covered in orange grease paint emerged and stood behind the opposition podium. The clown was wearing what seemed to be a dead fox on his head.
“It was really creepy,” said Executive Director of the Commission on Presidential Debates Janet Brown.
“We have no idea where the clown came from. He obviously had no political experience or debating skills. We think he was there just to create chaos. One thing’s for sure, almost everyone was disgusted by his weird, nonsensical statements.”
The clown remained on stage and continually interrupted both the moderator and his opponent. As the debate wore on he became more and more incoherent as his blood pressure rose and his skin began to glow like a nuclear fuel rod.
After the debate the clown was seen getting into a large SUV and departing the venue.
The first reports of unusual orange clown sightings surfaced last summer with stories that the costumed figures were offering women money to lure them into the woods or were lingering in places while spouting hatred about immigrants and Muslims.
The orange clown sightings are apparently unconnected with sightings of average everyday clowns claimed in at least six other states: Alabama, Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina and Pennsylvania.