TALLAHASSEE – (CT&P) – At a press conference outside his bunker deep beneath the governor’s mansion, Florida Governor Rick Scott, surrounded by military and government officials who appeared to have been hypnotized, told reporters this morning that authorities were “hoping for the best while preparing for the worst” for the 113th time in less than 24 hours.
Pundits and pol watchers believe this sets a record for a governor saying the same fucking thing over and over again.
“We think this breaks the record set my Governor Brownback of Kansas when he said ‘a rising tide lifts all boats’ 75 times in just three days as the state’s economy went in the toilet,” said Chris Hayes of MSNBC.
“Tea Party governors in particular tend to repeat the same phrase or sentence over and over and over again in hopes that the populace is ignorant enough to buy the bullshit they’re selling.
“This situation is really not that different; Scott is trying to convince the residents of Florida that he has some grasp of what the fuck is going on, which has never been true.”