Trump Delegate Misses First Night At Convention



CLEVELAND – (CT&P) – Trump delegate Billy Bob McSneed from Deer Tick, Tennessee missed the entire first night of the GOP convention after going on a two-day bender after he arrived in Cleveland early Saturday morning.

McSneed, a part-time slaughterhouse janitor and respected meth cook in Hemophilia County in the Appalachian foothills, told the leader of the Tennessee delegation that he became overly excited because it was the first time he had been out-of-state since 1994, when he was fleeing police on crack cocaine charge.

“Listen, Saturday was the first time I ever rode on a flying machine and it really pumped me up,” said McSneed when interviewed by a local television station. “I just felt like lettin’ my hair down a little bit and me and some gals I met in the alley behind the motel just had us a little party, that’s all. I’m all in for Trump. He’s my man!”

According to WKYC in Cleveland McSneed has agreed to pay for damage done to his room and an elevator during the “party” and will be allowed to stay the rest of the week provided he is supervised by other members of the Tennessee delegation.

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