WASHINGTON – (CT&P) – Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has still not found his testicles, according to a report released from the Associated Press this morning.
“We’ve pulled out all the stops to try find his scrotum,” said an aide on condition of anonymity. “I mean we’ve looked everywhere. At first we thought the Democrats had stolen them, then we searched the offices of everyone in the Freedom Caucus. We even asked the FBI and CIA for help. But so far, no results.”
According to a press release from the RNC, Priebus’ testicles have been missing since last fall, when it became apparent that Donald Trump would be a real contender in the race for the Republican nomination. Without them, Priebus has been powerless to do anything to prevent the GOP from being taken over by a neo-fascist lunatic bent on destroying the Party and the country as a whole.
“It’s getting really frustrating,” said the aide. “Some of us are beginning to think the asshole had no balls to begin with.”
Priebus has vowed to continue the search as long as he is chairman, which won’t be long if things continue as they have been.