MIAMI – (CT&P) – Donald Trump celebrated his self-proclaimed victory in last night’s Republican presidential debate with a parade through downtown Miami today.
Trump marched at the head of a column of volunteers, supporters, and former foes such as Dr. Ben Carson, who only today endorsed the giant bipedal dick equipped with a smaller-than-average penis.
Carson told reporters that as a Christian, he was proud to endorse a fascist who incited violence, despised minorities, and had nothing good to say about anyone other than himself.
“Donald is quite a guy, and I think he has what it takes to convince a bunch of idiots that he can ‘Make America Great Again,'” said the former neurosurgeon as he popped a Xanax. “And I’m really looking forward to this parade because it reminds me of the parades that Joseph used to lead around the pyramids. Besides, there’s supposed to be free hot dogs and cotton candy later.”
The parade lasted over three hours, and thousands of Trump’s poorly educated voters lined the route and waved enthusiastically at the Mussolini clone.
“I’m proud to be here and proud to support Trump,” said Cleetus Reclinerpilot, a supporter who barely graduated from sixth grade. “I can’t wait till we kick that negra out of the White House so we can start buildin’ that wall!”
Trump was expected to take a brief nap to recharge his batteries before boarding his $100 million dollar 757 to go convince other poorly educated and poverty-stricken white folks to vote for him.