RNC Warns Candidates “Don’t Drink The Water” While In Michigan



DETROIT – (CT&P) – The Associated Press is reporting that an emergency RNC memo has been circulated to all the Republican candidates participating in tonight’s debate in Detroit. The memo purportedly warns the candidates and their staffs against drinking any tap water during their visit to Michigan.

“We wanted to warn all the campaigns about the dangers of drinking water processed anywhere within the State of Michigan,” said RNC Chairman Reince Priebus. “The fiasco in Flint has been well documented, but what people may not know is that Tea Bagging bastard Snyder has wreaked havoc all over Michigan. He’s an environmentalist’s nightmare.

“We’re mainly concerned about Trump and Rubio. Those two dummies can ill afford to lose any more brain cells. Kasich already knows better, and we’re led to understand that Cruz only drinks human blood.”

The report from the AP has raised eyebrows with pundits across the country, particularly since only last week all the Republican candidates for president signed a pledge to abolish the EPA, repeal the Clean Water Act, loosen restrictions on the dumping of carcinogens and radioactive waste into rivers and streams, and to generally screw poor people whenever they get the chance.



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