MONTGOMERY – (CT&P) – Alabama Governor Robert Bentley has been named to lead a GOP delegation to Raqqa next month to meet with ISIS leaders in order to better coordinate the Republican Party’s response to recent terror attacks. Senator Jeff Sessions, (R-AL) will also be part of the delegation.
The delegation, made up of GOP governors and lawmakers, will sit down and try to iron out just how the party can better achieve the goals and ambitions of ISIS and other terrorist organizations around the Middle East.
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus told CNN that although the Republican leadership felt like it had taken positive steps to cooperate and support ISIS by banning Syrian refugees entry to many states, and trying to shut down the refugee program completely in the U.S. House of Representatives, a lot more could be accomplished if politicians could sit down face-to-face with the terrorists and iron out a detailed plan for cooperation.
“We really want to foster hatred for all Muslims around the world and try our best to make this a Christianity vs Islam world war, and we feel the best way to do that is cooperate fully with ISIS and do their bidding as much as possible,” said Priebus.
“We named Governor Bentley and Senator Sessions to lead this delegation because they were the most bigoted assholes we could think of, and it sure doesn’t hurt that they’re from Alabama, given its history of racial prejudice and backwards-ass lawmaking.
“We wanted to get a few presidential candidates on the delegation but the only one dumb enough to volunteer was Dr. Ben “Mad Dog” Carson, but as it turns out his psychotherapist has not OK’ed him for overseas travel.”
The delegation is scheduled to fly into Baghdad and travel overland to Raqqa to meet ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and some of his most murderous lieutenants.
“I look forward to meeting some of America’s dumbest politicians, and building a long-term mutually beneficial relationship with these dirty, filthy pig-dogs,” said Baghdadi during an interview with Al-Jazeera.
“However, I would like to warn them not to smoke or insult the Prophet while in Raqqa or they will be burned alive or torn apart by wild dogs while we watch.”
The delegation is scheduled to arrive in Raqqa on December 23rd, just in time for Christmas.