WASHINGTON – (CT&P) – At a prayer breakfast held early this morning in a metro area Waffle House, Republican presidential candidate and unhinged religious wacko Dr. Ben Carson outlined what a Carson Administration’s foreign policy would look like.
“I would get together with European leaders at the next G-20 summit and rush Vladimir Putin,” said Carson.
“And after that, I’d encourage world leaders to surround President Xi Jinping of China and pummel him into submission. The only alternative is just to stand there as he picks us off one by one.”
Republican Freedom Caucus members and other kooks who attended the breakfast were impressed by Carson’s ideas and praised his intellectual approach to problem solving.
Freedom Caucus Chairman Jim Jordan (Moron-OH) told Fox News after the early morning meeting that Carson offered a “fresh approach” to geopolitics.
“Carson is our country’s best hope for a bright future,” said Jordan. “His foreign policy ideas are fresh and exciting. We in the Freedom Caucus are sick and tired of cooperating with other countries. We should just insist on a course of action that we feel is right, and then worry about the consequences to our country later, sorta like what we do in congress.”
Carson is scheduled to attend a meeting of religious and political leaders of the Christian Right later today, where he is expected to unveil his domestic policy initiatives. They are said to include a massive federal sprinkler program that would protect the United States from the destruction of earth by fire during the End Times, which Carson believes is just around the corner.