LOS ANGELES -(CT&P) – A team of psychiatrists, psychologists, and graduate level researchers from UCLA tasked with keeping tabs on right-wing nut jobs has released a statement saying that they believe talk show host Glenn Beck has reached the point where he could snap and break with reality at any moment.
Beck, a historical revisionist, conspiracy theorist, and all around delusional fuckwit, runs his own media company, and has long been a magnet for weak-minded members of society.
Dr. John Bigboote, who leads the team at UCLA, told CNN that the mere fact that Beck has so many followers in the United States is alarming and does not bode well for the future of the country.
“Beck is one crazy fuck,” said Bigboote. “He thinks the world is run by a combination of the Illuminati and some unnamed dark force that lurks just beyond the asteroid belt. He has a massive messiah complex, and when you combine that with his multiple conspiracy theories and fucked up interpretation of history, well, it makes for a volatile mixture.”
Dr. John Yaya and Professor John Small Berries, other members of the prestigious research team, agree.
“Beck spent an entire hour of his radio program interviewing Jonathan Cahn, a huckster of the highest order, about his “Mystery of the Shemitah” theory, which postulates that some massive calamity — possibly an economic meltdown, possibly a terrorist attack, possibly a natural disaster — is going to strike the United States on September 13,” said Dr. Yaya. “This kind of crap is better suited for some kind of steam punk comic book than serious television. It shows just how close Beck is to losing it.”
“That’s right,” said Professor Small Berries. “Beck thinks that America has reached some kind of ‘tipping point’ that will push us over into certain doom. The term is taking the dim-witted, weak minded evangelical crowd by storm. You can’t swing a cat without hitting the term ‘tipping point’ on the internet. These people truly believe that civil rights for all, marriage equality, and progressive ideas such as health care for the poor are going to lead to our destruction. They’re truly delusional.”
The UCLA team is set to publish their findings in next month’s edition of Psychology Today.
“Hopefully people will listen to us this time,” said Bigboote. “We accurately forecast Urban Meyer’s break with reality but University of Florida officials ignored our warnings, and look what happened; the Gators are having trouble defeating high school caliber opponents.
“Our sincere hope is that Beck can be institutionalized and get the help he needs so badly before something horrible happens to him or his loved ones. The sooner we get this fucking lunatic off the air the better.”