Creation Museum Unveils New Exhibit

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PETERSBURG, KENTUCKY – (CT&P) – Religious kook and bigot from hell Ken Ham took time off from predicting the imminent destruction of earth at the hands of an all-loving creator today in order to announce the opening of a new exhibit at the Creation Museum.

The exhibit will feature what creation scientists believe is the first automobile made by the hands of man.

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Another creationist archeological team in Italy is confident that it will soon unearth the economy rental that St. Paul drove to Rome.

According to Ham, the vehicle, which he dubbed the “Palestine Cruiser,” was discovered at an archeological dig in Israel. The dig was co-sponsored by the Creation Museum Foundation for Making Cash Off the Weak-Minded and the Jesus Is Coming Back Soon To Kick Your Ass Fund.

Ham claims that the vehicle is the very same one that transported Jesus and three of his disciples (they drew lots and the rest had to walk) from Bethany to Jerusalem.

“The idea that the Son of God would ride a donkey into town is just ridiculous,” said Ham during an interview with Fox News.

“We always suspected that the donkey theory was wrong from the beginning. Some Biblical scholars have him riding on the back of a Velociraptor or T-Rex, but we at the Creation Foundation considered that idea silly. Everyone knows that at that time people only rode herbivores such as Triceratops¬† or Stegosaurus, although the “Steggies,” as we like to call them, could be rough on the old scrotum.”

The exhibit is set to open on Monday and Ham says that the first week is already sold out.

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Although Ham was disappointed that he was unable to pull the wool over the eyes of Kentucky politicians and claim tax exempt status for his ridiculous Noah’s Ark project, construction continues apace.

“We had hoped to time the opening of the Ancient Auto wing of the museum with the completion of our Noah’s Ark exhibit, but because of cost overruns and the Satanic plot to deny us tax exempt status that project has been delayed,” said Ham. “It seems to be taking us a bit longer than we thought to complete the Ark and place all the stuffed animals inside it.”

In fact, the project is taking over ten times as long as it supposedly took Noah, who according to the Bible was fucking 600 years old when he built the craft and loaded it with two of every species of animal on earth.

Regardless, Ham says that tickets to the exhibit are sold out for a full year after its completion and that Creation Construction LLC is currently breaking ground on a 1000 room hotel and casino in Petersburg so that he can house the weak-minded twits that come to see the abomination.

“Like Donald Trump says, there’s one born every minute,” concluded Ham.

 

One thought on “Creation Museum Unveils New Exhibit

  1. This is the greatest & most hilarious written article about that lunatic Ken ham I’ve ever read. This is comedic gold!! This guy should write a comedy about this and that moron Ken and make it a movie which is glady pay to go see.

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