NEW YORK – (CT&P) – Fox has announced that it will air its newest reality show, So You Think You’re A Sprinter, in late September. The show will be shot live on location in a number of major metropolitan areas around the country.
The innovative program will feature unarmed black teens attempting to flee police custody while avoiding flying billy clubs, Tasers, and gunfire from a variety of military grade weapons.
The show will consist of eight one-hour episodes during which the number of contestants will be whittled down through a process of exhaustion, depression, life threatening back injuries, and death, all at the hands of rogue cops.
During the last episode, if any of the original contestants are still alive, they will be forced to run a gauntlet of angry white rednecks armed with deer rifles who will be chosen at random from rural areas in Florida, Texas and Arkansas.
Executives at Fox are quite optimistic that the show will be a hit, citing the success of an entire news channel devoted to the kind of people who would really enjoy just this kind of thing.
The show is expected to air on September 25th, and will be going up against the new offering from Bravo, Real Housewives of the Gaza Strip; ABC’s popular docudrama Last Terrorist Standing, a cautionary tale about five dumbass Arab goat herders duped into joining ISIS; and CBS’s controversial new red state sitcom about how zany gay marriage can be in ‘The Land That Time Forgot.” It will be called How I Met Your Scrotum.