Gowdy To Reporters: ‘Missing Email Proves Hillary Behind Benghazi Attacks’

gowdy

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (CT&P) – Representative Trey “Numbnuts” Gowdy (R-SC), Chairman of the House Select Committee to Investigate Investigations Related to Prior Investigations of the Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi terrorist attacks, told reporters today that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s missing emails will prove “beyond the shadow of a doubt” that she masterminded the operation start to finish.

gowdy4

Known as “The Shrew” on Capitol Hill, Gowdy is well-known for his Trumpian hairdo. He is believed to be the only virgin serving in the U.S. House of Representatives

“We will show that Mrs. Clinton not only planned and organized the attacks, but was on the ground in Libya that night and provided transportation for the terrorists to and from the compound,” said Gowdy.

The attack, which has been the subject of endless investigations by a variety of nitwits in both houses of Congress, occurred on the evening of September 11, 2012.

Islamic militants attacked the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Lybia, killing U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens and U.S. Foreign Service Information Management Officer Sean Smith. Stevens was the first U.S. Ambassador killed in the line of duty since 1979.

Several hours later, a second assault targeted a different compound about one mile away, killing two CIA contractors, Tyrone S. Woods and Glen Doherty. Ten others were also injured in the attacks, but some of those folks were not white, so they don’t count.

stationwagon

Gowdy’s office released this photo supposedly showing Mrs. Clinton, her driver, and a carload of Islamic terrorists in route to the diplomatic compound in a 1972 Plymouth Satellite. However, an aide to Mrs Clinton claims the photograph came from the archives of the Andy Griffith show.

“We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton used her email account to procure a 1972 Plymouth station wagon and a driver to transport the killers from downtown Benghazi to the compound and then on to the second target,” said a profusely sweating Gowdy. “We have a witness that has provided photographic evidence to this effect as well.”

Gowdy also told reporters that Mrs. Clinton hosted a gala alcohol-free reception for the killers just after the attacks to celebrate the deaths of the four Americans.

“It’s just horrific,” said Gowdy. “I don’t see how the woman can live with herself. This is bound to ruin any chance she has of becoming president, which is of course our only goal behind pursuing this ridiculous bullshit.”

When asked if Mrs. Clinton is concerned about either the emails or the continuing Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi probe, an aide to Mrs. Clinton replied, “Not really, haters gonna hate…what difference does it make?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s