BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA (CT&P) – Controversial and dumb as dirt Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore has been declared “legally fucking insane” by a team of esteemed psychiatrists from the University of Alabama in Birmingham. A clerk for the judge responded to the decision by saying that the doctors were obviously the servants of Lucifer and are part of a huge conspiracy to undermine the judge and his wacked-out ideas.
The judge has been involved in some of the most idiotic escapades in the history of jurisprudence over his illustrious career, which has been devoted to resisting change and progress at every turn.
Judge Moore, who regularly criticizes any idea hatched after the Middle Ages, became nationally known for his refusal, in 2003, in his first term as Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, to remove a monument of the Ten Commandments from the Alabama Judicial Building despite orders to do so from a federal judge. On November 13, 2003, the Alabama Court of the Judiciary unanimously removed Moore from his post as Chief Justice on the grounds that he was “too ignorant to hold the post and was making Alabama the laughing stock of the entire country.”
On November 6, 2012, the apparently masochistic voters in the State of Alabama voted Moore back to the office of Alabama Chief Justice. He defeated Democratic candidate Bob Vance.
Recently, Moore made headlines again when in a letter to Alabama Governor Robert Bentley he urged the governor to ignore the federal ruling striking down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. In the letter the deranged judge compared himself to abolitionists and desegregationists standing up against the “rejection of God’s law by the satanic demons currently possessing the federal judiciary.”
The psychiatric team from UAB, led by Dr. Adrienne Lahti, Director for the Division of Behavioral Neurobiology, found that Judge Moore has paranoid delusions concerning the federal government and believes that he has a direct line of communication with God and Saint Peter.
“The man is unhinged,” said Lahti, in an interview with the Birmingham News. “He thinks he is some sort of holy warrior sent by God to save the state and the country from the evils of homosexuality. We think that this sexual insecurity stems from the fact that he did not get enough attention as a child.”
Dr. Andrea Dickens, Director of Psychiatric Emergency Services and part of the team that examined Judge Moore, agreed. “The man is out of his fucking mind. He’s a threat to himself and all those around him. Having him on the Alabama Supreme Court is like putting a two year old in charge of a nuclear plant. It’s insane.”
The team has recommended that Judge Moore be placed in secure institution until such time that he does not pose a threat to himself or the public, which should be just after hell freezes over.