THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CP&T) – At a press conference outside embattled Ferguson, Missouri this morning, local law enforcement officials praised the success of its first annual “Remember Tiananmen Square” festival and reenactment.
The festivities, which kicked off over a week ago with the execution of an unarmed black teen by a white police officer, have exceeded all expectations, according to Ferguson Police Chief Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson.
“I just can’t tell you how delighted we are with the results, and we look forward to holding many more festivals in the future,” said Jackson.
The almost all white city council and police department got the idea for the festival from watching international reporting on “hot spots” around the world where oppressive regimes and terrorist thugs have been brutally abusing ethnic and religious groups.
“We thought hey, what great way to remind the colored folks of Ferguson just who is in charge around here,” said Chief Jackson, “and since we had all this cool second-hand military equipment we should put it to good use instead of letting it lie around gathering dust.”
“The idea of initiating the chaos with a good old racially motivated police shooting of an unarmed black dude really worked to perfection,” said Mayor James “There Is No Racial Divide In Ferguson” Knowles. “I have to give credit for that particular idea to Imperial Lizard Nathan Bedford Forrest IV, a long-time city council member. Brilliant idea Bedford!”
Future plans call for a new ‘atrocity exhibition’ in Ferguson each year. Ideas include a reenactment of the “killing fields” of Cambodia courtesy of the Khmer Rouge, a 12 act outdoor stage play of several of Stalin’s purges, a theme park dedicated to Mao’s Cultural Revolution, and possibly a month-long celebration of the Spanish Inquisition to coincide with the 2016 presidential election.
“We cannot stress enough how happy we are with all the national and international attention we’re getting,” said Mayor Knowles. “This event has really put our sleepy little hamlet on the map. I hope it encourages individuals and businesses from all over America to consider a move to the great state of Missouri, where ‘we all just get along!'”
As long as the homogeneous white male power structure is armed with tanks and machine guns, that is…