SANTA ROSA BEACH, CRETONIA (CT&P) – In a romantic and moving ceremony held yesterday at sundown on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico, Jerry Dickerson reaffirmed to the world that he continues to be in a deep and loving relationship with himself.
In attendance were thousands of Dickerson’s imaginary friends, phantasmal readers of his blog, and apocryphal admirers from all over the planet.
“It was a truly moving experience, said Dirk “Lloyd” Bridges, a lifeguard who happened to be putting away beach chairs and umbrellas at the time and witnessed the event. “Dickerson’s level of commitment to himself is heart warming. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so deeply devoted to the preservation of his own well-being and happiness.”
When interviewed by Action News after the ceremony, Dickerson said, “I just wanted the world to know that I have finally found my soul mate, and he is me.”
Dickerson felt the same way. He told reporters that he admired his partner’s “manly physique, outgoing personality, rapier wit, and above all his towering intellect.”
When interviewed, Dickerson’s mother Charlene told reporters that she “just did not see anyone breaking up this beautiful long term relationship that Jerry has with himself.”
“I know in my heart that no one will ever be able to love my son as much as he does himself.”