‘Coalition Of Rabid White Bitches’ Joins Growing Band Of Protesting Border Bumpkins

angrywhitewomen

SANTA ROSA BEACH, CRETONIA (CT&P) – The activist group Rabid White Bitches announced today that it intended to join the ragtag army of reactionary miscreants lurking around the Texas-Mexico border. The addition of the organization to the border area boosts the number of seething hate-filled xenophobic groups to over two dozen.

angrybitch

President of Rabid White Bitches Susan Madsen is a part-time executioner for the State of Arizona.

“We realized that we were just not getting enough coverage screaming and foaming at the mouth in downtown Dallas,” said Susan “Stark Raving” Madsen. “We had to get our butts down to the border where the action is. That way we can hurl racist insults directly at those vile young kids. Hopefully we can eventually get close enough to spit on those little brown vermin.”

Rabid White Bitches joins The Fellowship of Christian Racists, the Sexual Minutemen, the Federation of Xenophobic Hillbillies, the South Texas Chapter of the Tea Party Patriotic Apple-Knockers Society, Open Disease Carrying Texans, and the Texas Goat Fanciers Association as well as several other groups vying for this year’s Medieval Abomination Award.

“We really think that our hysterical screaming and cursing, combined with our superior endurance, gives a real shot at winning the competition,” said Madsen, as she wiped spittle off her chin with a tobacco-stained shirtsleeve.

“We just can’t risk letting desperate innocent children into the United States. They could be harboring all types of deadly diseases and conditions like scurvy, beriberi, Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, leprosy, Ebola, Black Plague, untreatable tuberculosis, acid reflux, hemorrhoids, erectile dysfunction, or even the dreaded toenail fungus.”

Jesus-machine-gun

Madsen told reporters that if Jesus were at the border he would gladly jump in and prevent “those underage scum” from breaking international law by seeking help from the richest country on earth.

“This whole situation is President Obama’s fault,” continued Madsen. “If he was running this country in accordance with Biblical principles the way the founders intended, then we wouldn’t have a border problem. Do you think that for one instant that Jesus would tolerate all these kids breaking the law by peaceably turning themselves in to border agents? No sir! I feel confident that if Jesus were here today he would take a break from stoning  fags and atheists to death long enough to come down here and man one of our machine guns, after all, some of these kids could turn out to be gay!”

Franklin “Blue Balls” Bates, president of the South Texas Amateur Gynecologist’s League wholeheartedly agreed with Madsen. “God hates immigrants, and he downright despises illegal immigrants, especially brown ones,” said Bates. “There’s nothing that irritates God more than a bunch of whining children trying to escape rampant violence and soul-crushing poverty.”

berlinwall

Most right-wing groups think that the most compassionate and humane thing to do for the kids of Central America is to erect a Soviet style Berlin Wall along our border topped with deadly electrified razor wire

“Franklin is correct,” said Charles “Baby-Crusher” Paisely, who is in charge of recruiting for the Texas Association of Fascist Sympathizers. “If God had intended for these little bastards to live in the United States, he would have put them here in the very beginning, just like us white people.”

The tide of young kids seeking refuge at the border shows no signs of ebbing anytime soon, and the crisis is likely to get worse before it gets better. However, most of the narrow-minded provincials protesting along the border are optimistic that something will go terribly wrong and they will get a chance to use overwhelming firepower against the pre-pubescent scourge from south of the border.

When a reporter asked how any person with an ounce of compassion could possibly mow down a group of innocent children weak from malnutrition, a sentry for the Daughters of the Spanish Inquisition replied, “Easy, you just don’t lead them as much!”

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s