Religion Of Peace Continues To Blow Shit Out Of Israel With Rockets, Hamas Leaders Puzzled By IDF Response

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THE CABIN ANTHRAX MURPHY, N. C. (CT&P) — Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel said Friday that his forces were fighting Hamas with “increasing intensity” to quell its rocket barrages from Gaza, ignoring outside criticism and calls for restraint in the increasingly deadly Israeli aerial assaults. Even as he spoke, Palestinian militants fired salvos into central and southern Israel and said their arsenal had barely been dented.

Palestinian deaths from four days of Israeli aerial assaults surpassed 100, with hundreds wounded. As of Friday, no Israelis had been killed by Gaza rockets, although one caused the first serious instance of multiple injuries on the Israeli side since the hostilities intensified.

Israel has been criticized for the lopsided death toll in the conflict, as if she should somehow let the terrorist wackos catch up by letting her civilians be slaughtered in their beds.

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In an attempt to explain the terrorists’ poor aim, an IDF spokesman told our reporter that “the terrorist talks big, but frankly, we think he’s short of know-how. I mean, you just can’t expect a bunch of ignorant peons to understand a rocket like some of our boys. And that’s not meant as an insult, we all know how much guts these folks have, judging by the intestines splattered everywhere after a suicide bombing.”

“It’s not our fault these idiots don’t know how to aim their rockets,” said Bibi. ““No international pressure will prevent us from operating with full force against a terrorist organization that calls for our destruction,” he said in remarks broadcast from a news conference at the Defense Ministry in Tel Aviv.

“Even those dim wits at the U.N. should be able to figure it out. The difference between us is simple,” Mr. Netanyahu said. “We develop defensive systems against missiles in order to protect our civilians and they use their civilians to protect their missiles.”

The Israeli military says it has struck more than 1,100 locations in Gaza such as rocket launchers, weapons stores and, more controversially, what it describes as command and control centers run by Hamas and Islamic Jihad operatives in private homes. Israel says it first advises the occupants to vacate, using telephone alerts and unarmed missiles that strike the premises in a warning of the destruction to come.

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Abu Marzook Skyhook spoke with reporters while safely ensconced in a bunker nine stories below Gaza City

For their part Hamas leaders told U.N. officials that they were “totally baffled and puzzled” by Israel’s response to the hail of rockets launched from Gaza since the current flare up of hostilities began.

“We were just celebrating our holy month in the usual fashion, by attempting to kill Jews in large numbers,” said Mousa Mohammed Abu Marzook Skyhook, deputy chairman of Hamas political bureau and CEO of Rockets Are Us in Rafah.

“I don’t understand why Bibi got so pissed off, and it really hurts my feelings that Israel is fighting back,” he said.

Skyhook told reporters that Hamas was ready to sacrifice “as many of its women and children as necessary to make its point. “We will make Israel a lake of fire in the ‘mother of all’ rocket attacks,” he said. However, Skyhook did not explain just what the fuck Hamas’ point is.

Skyhook spoke with U.N. officials and reporters during a gala swimsuit fashion show held in a reinforced bunker nine stories below the surface.

3 thoughts on “Religion Of Peace Continues To Blow Shit Out Of Israel With Rockets, Hamas Leaders Puzzled By IDF Response

  1. Hello sir,
    Thank you for your nice posting.It is very informative and interesting posting.The Israeli military says it has struck more than 1,100 locations in Gaza such as rocket launchers, weapons stores and, more controversially, what it describes as command and control centers run by Hamas and Islamic Jihad operatives in private homes.
    Thanks…..

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