An Obamacare Holiday Massacre

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Fox News interrupted coverage of the mythical “War on Christmas” today to report the latest in a long line of Obamacare atrocities.The report, if corroborated by actual news organizations, could deal a heavy blow to the new health care system.

Starship Captain and cutting edge investigative reporter Shepherd Smith reported a huge loss of life associated with the healthcare.gov website. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of innocents lost their lives in the run up to Thanksgiving because of a software “glitch” on the site. “They had logged on seeking health insurance for their families and instead were rerouted to the dreaded ‘Death Panel’¬† page, where they were immediately condemned,” said Smith. “These poults never had a chance,” Smith continued, “they were rounded up, executed, and became the main course in households across the country on Thanksgiving Day.”

Smith featured an interview on his program with Sean Hannity, Fox’s ace debater and insightful intellectual. Hannity revealed an even more shocking aspect of the disaster. “My sources have informed me that some of these innocent young turkeys had knowledge of Hillary Clinton’s involvement in the Benghazi abomination, and were threatening to expose her,” said Hannity. “This is an insidious conspiracy that reaches the highest levels of government, and we intend to spend the next eight or nine months speculating about it on my show.”

Representative Michele Bachman, who vociferously warned her constituents about these “Death Panels”, was unavailable for comment as she was attending a Tea Party sponsored “Origin of the Species” book burning festival at the Texas Board of Education along with Senator Ted Cruz.

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