A Thanksgiving Turkey


Representative Trey “Radical” Radel (Hypocrite-FL) plead guilty to misdemeanor drug possession Wednesday after being busted last month as part of a sting operation conducted in our nation’s capital.

Radel was arrested after purchasing 3.5 grams of cocaine from undercover agents whom he had previously invited to “Hip Hop” up to his apartment to partake in the same substance. The agents declined the generous invite but offered to sell him some blow to add to his current inventory. After the deal was struck other agents moved in and arrested the hapless congressman.

After pleading guilty Wednesday, Radel beat feet back to Florida where he checked into a rehab center, but not before holding the obligatory remorseful press conference.

Radel utilized the tried and true canned speech used by so many hypocritical politicians and televangelists the world over after their transgressions are exposed. Radel proclaimed, “Today, I checked myself into a facility to seek treatment and counseling. It is my hope, through this process I will come out a better man. I will work hard to gain back the trust and support of my constituents, friends and most importantly my family.”

Interestingly, Radel, a favorite of the Tea Party, found nothing wrong with his activities before his sinful habits were unveiled. In fact, in the past Radel stated that his favorite vacationing spot was the popular tourist destination Cartagena, Columbia. Also on his short list of “places to kick back” were Amsterdam, Bangkok, Kandahar Airfield, and the Tribal Regions in northwest Pakistan.

As mentioned earlier, Radel was a Tea Party favorite and rising star in Republican politics. He voted along party lines, pushing for a 40 billion dollar cut in food stamp assistance for the poor. He also voted for drug testing of food stamp recipients. After all, it’s only logical to starve those in need of food if they also have a drug problem like Radel does.

Perhaps there is a lesson here for the Tea Party. Radel’s drug use apparently had no effect on his ability to toe the Party line. He did not go berserk and rob his neighbors for drug money, or commit any violent crimes.  Maybe Tea Party efforts to balance the budget would be better spent dialing back the ludicrous and failed “War On Drugs”, which by some estimates costs the U.S. over $100 billion per year, rather than taking food out of the mouths of the poor.

Radel’s political future is uncertain, with some politicians coming to his defense and others preparing to eviscerate him. Radel will receive a year of loosely supervised probation after which he hopes to continue his political career. Unable for comment were the tens of thousands of citizens serving multiple-year prison sentences in Florida for the very same crime Radel committed. This is of small consequence because they will never be able to vote again anyway.

Radel of course has no intention of resigning his lucrative $175,000 per year position. He will therefore not be in need of SNAP assistance any time soon.

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