Boehner Comes Out Against ENDA

Speaker of the House John Boehner recently announced that he would block the Employment Non Discrimination Act, a law that would effectively end discrimination against gays, lesbians, and trans-gendered individuals in the workplace.

“We just cannot allow this bill to move forward,” Boehner said. “ENDA would cause an avalanche of frivolous lawsuits, potentially wrecking our fragile recovery, to say nothing of the moral implications. This is not a change in our position. The Party has a time-honored tradition of standing up against equality in the workplace for women and minorities. We are just being consistent.”

Although passed in the Senate, it is probable that the bill will not even come up for a vote in the Republican controlled House. “There has been a great deal of pressure put on us by the Tea Party, the Christian Right, and other kooks,” a Boehner aide said.

Tea Party representatives have vociferously opposed the bill on moral grounds, predicting a veritable collapse of traditional family values. “We just cannot allow our children to live and work in a world where gays and lesbians are treated like other normal humans. It’s just insane,” a Tea Party spokesman said.

Boehner closed a press conference on the subject this week by stating “We can’t take this threat to our morals and profit margins lying down. We do not intend to just bend over and take this abuse. The only threat we consider to be greater is the imminent collapse of western civilization that has been precipitated by Obamacare. “

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